web tracker A Piece of My Mind: Fat

A Piece of My Mind

Here I'll talk about the things I see, feel, think and imagine, of things that are, were or could be, in hopes for people to enter my mind and we could share some thoughts...

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Fat


that's phat
Originally uploaded by ale_to_rro.
Have you ever been fat? No, I don't mean fat in a "i have to lose 5 pounds" kind of fat, I mean real life threateing, overweight, unable to buy clothes, need an extra belt on airplanes, no one will look at you in a come here baby way, FAT...

Do you even know how it feels? I remembered sometimes I looked in the mirror just to see how I looked, somedays I saw myself like a huge ugly fat monster, you thought that would be enough to make me go to a gym, or go and take a hike in the park and start dieting, but no, that just got me depressed, depression got me eating my feelings "ice cream is not love"... Those other few times that I saw a thinner version of myself (only in my eyes) well...I look thinner, maybe I can get away with having pizza for dinner tonight... It's not easy...it sounds like it is, but is one of the hardest things ever, stop eating.

I still don't consider myself a thin person, although I could probably sell the "average" body, but I still see myself on the mirror as fat..then again I realized last Sunday that I'm half anorexic, when I look at myself in a mirror I see someone fat...why half anorexic? Well...I don't stop eating :p .

People looked at me and said: "you have a great face, but you need to lose weight"...but hey, when you're fat, its never easy, specially when you see the people you like rejecting you or hooking up with someone else. One person who I shall never forget, told me once: "Alejandro remember, bodies are made, but with a face, you have to be born with" ..

If you read that last comment with the first one on that same paragraph, you could say, its the same thing, but its not...one is a positive comment, a you can do it if you want to comment, the other one is like pitty...I hate being pittied...

Its not easy being fat, the real kind of fat...I'm just glad I'm leaving that "condition" behind, I just hope I never forget, I just hope I never make someone feel like I used to feel...but If I truly had to wish something, it would be that the fruits and vegetables made you gain weight, and the desserts, fast foods and everything I liked made you lose weight...but hey, then again we would all be wanting to eat fruit and vegetables...crazy world.

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